Well it's Christmas Eve for the Jewish girl, it's weird because I don't know what to do with myself. My family is busy with their in-law families celebrating Christmas and I am home with my precious sleeping Grandson. He is only part Jewish so I am doing Hanukah Harry and Santa Claus for him. He gets it all! So tonight we watched Santa Claus 3 and put out cookies and milk for Santa and he is actually sleeping in his own bed right now and I am downstairs alone (HUGE for us). So I think I did it right, I put powder on the bottom of my boots and stomped all around the house near the tree (Fake snow) and I drank most of the milk, took a big bite out of the cookies we left for Santa.
So here I sit alone, it's weird lately. I am so tired and down in the dumps, is it the holiday season? I think it's a bunch of things all wrapped up into everything and some days it's just more overwhelming that others. I tend to like Thanksgiving much better than Xmas or Hanukah, maybe because for me the focus is on the positive, all the things I have to be thankful for. Meanwhile Xmas and Hanukah for me mean too much shopping and spending money on things we don't really need and too much time isolated from others. It's weird tomorrow we are driving down to my brothers and I will be there for the day with his family and my sister and her husband but I don't really want to go. I don't want to sit in traffic for 2 hours or more, I don't want to pretend I am happy, I just want to hibernate (as my sister says). Yes I hibernate when I am feeling stressed out.
I guess I am frustrated with everything that is Timmy right now, I have done some research and found that the medication that helps him comes in a melt in your mouth form and that is not suppose to have the weight gain side effects of the pill version. So I call his dr and tell him what's been going on and ask for his suggestions, he doesn't even suggest this version of the medication until I ask him about it and then he says "that's a great idea". Ok so why do I have to be the one to find this option? I mean I pay these people a ton of money to help us and I have to still do all the legwork and research. So the dr calls 3 pharmacies and not one of them have it. He does order it for me and we will be able to get it Friday afternoon. Meanwhile I put him back on the pill version and he is not bouncing off the walls, not manic but OMG he is eating and eating and it's just scary to watch. I know what's healthy but nothing is healthy when you don't stop for 3 hours. He is never full on this med. I think I will just give it to him before bedtime in the evening for now until I get this new version and hope it helps like it did tonight. He is sleeping!! Did I say he is sleeping and it's only 9:30.
Anyway I hope you have a wonderful holiday, whatever one it is you celebrate but for this jewish girl I will be much happier when it is over,,,,
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Happy Holidays to all,,,
I just wanted to wish all of you wonderful, strong women out there a Happy Holiday. Your comments, your blogs, your words of wisdom are enriching my life. Thank you all for being who you are and for being around when I need an ear or a pick me up or a shoulder....
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The right medication to help my boy,,,
We have been through multiple hospitalizations, medications, doctors, psychologists, neurologists, geneticists, homeopaths and therapists the last few years. During our quest to find something that will help Timmy with his day to day struggle of anxiety, mood swings and hyperactivity I think we have tried every medication known to man, well at least the ones I agreed to try. His last hospitalization one of his medications was changed and due to that change he seemed to be doing way better. The problem is that this particular medication causes the stomach to feel as if it is never full. He actually gained 15 lbs in a 6 week period. There are other issues with this medication, it seems to bring out diabetes and other sugar related issues. Due to these side effects I spoke with the doctor and we decided to try something else that has much fewer side effects. Well all of the sudden I am seeing the aggressive miserable child again. So the dilemma is do I allow the side effects and put him back on the medication that was helping him or do we again go through and try to find something else that does help him? The other issue is I don't think there are many medications left to try. Oh and for you non-medicators, Timmy can't make it without meds, he is miserable, aggressive and bouncing off the walls. I have tried the whole homeopathic route and that didn't work either.
Monday, December 22, 2008
The weekend is over,,,
It sucks to be me right now. I would rather be at work than home with Timmy. He is constantly BORED, in fact if I hear him tell me he "I'm bored" one more time I may commit myself. This weekend he had a Holiday Party for most of the day on Saturday. He was home at 3 pm and it began. It was horrible trying to get him to bed and I spent 2 hours going back and forth with him. He wakes me up at 5 am Sunday and then it starts all over again. We have another holiday party to attend from 9-12. We leave home at 8:30 and are the first ones at the party and the last ones to leave. We get home around 12:15 and it starts again, Mom, "I'm bored". When does Hanukah start? I can't wait 5 hours, I'm bored. I do everything I can to entertain him, we watched a PPV movie, we colored, we played with boxes, we colored more during all of this he is saying "I'm bored" Meanwhile it's nasty out, cold raining, sleeting, just crap weather. Then finally it's 5pm and we can go to Aunt Debie's for Hanukah, we light our little menorah, say our prayers and head over to Aunt Deb's.
We give him his one Hanukah gift for the first night, eat some dinner (thanks sis) and then I head home with him since it's a school night. All the way home he is freaking out over his new MP3 player (which I preloaded with his favorite songs and charged). He is having a total meltdown in the car as I drive home, whining, crying, yelling the whole 1.3 miles home. We get in the house and I try to sit with him and show him how to work the new player. He continues to flip out on me, yelling, whining crying, etc. Finally it's 6:30 and time for nighttime meds. I get him to take them and he continues to whine, yell and cry for the next hour meanwhile telling me "I'm bored" . I am trying to get his lunch ready for school and get uniform ready and fold clothes and clean up the house while I am being yelled at by a 7 year old.
Finally it's bedtime, we are struggling to get him to sleep in his own bed so I lay down with him and try rubbing his back and let him watch TV quietly. He can't sit still, he's hot, he's cold, he can't hear the TV, he needs his stuffed animal, he wants a different blanket, etc etc for the next hour. I finally snap, tell him I am done and get up and walk out of the room. He follows me downstairs telling me he is "bored". I tell him to get in his room and go to sleep or there will be one less gift from Santa and Hanukah Harry who is seeing exactly what he is doing, does he care? Hell no! This continues to go on for the next hour and he finally passes out on the couch. I am so wound up, pissed off and frustrated now that I can't fall asleep!.
So it's midnight, I finally go upstairs and go to bed and left him on the couch. Three am he starts again, screaming at me "You left me alone". I tell him you best get to sleep now and he does finally. I wake up this morning and he is in bed with me. OMG.
I have no space, I have no privacy, I am mentally exhausted by this child. He is mentally abusing me and all of the people that are suppose to be providing us with respite and therapy can't seem to work the hours we have allocated so as usual it's all on me and I am losing my mind.
Uggggggggggh, ok I feel better now, tired but better. I am not looking forward to the next 2 weeks. I look at it as four days each week with him home with me screaming "I'm bored" and me running him around like a freaking lunatic trying to keep him entertained. I really feel like I am too old for this, god help me.
We give him his one Hanukah gift for the first night, eat some dinner (thanks sis) and then I head home with him since it's a school night. All the way home he is freaking out over his new MP3 player (which I preloaded with his favorite songs and charged). He is having a total meltdown in the car as I drive home, whining, crying, yelling the whole 1.3 miles home. We get in the house and I try to sit with him and show him how to work the new player. He continues to flip out on me, yelling, whining crying, etc. Finally it's 6:30 and time for nighttime meds. I get him to take them and he continues to whine, yell and cry for the next hour meanwhile telling me "I'm bored" . I am trying to get his lunch ready for school and get uniform ready and fold clothes and clean up the house while I am being yelled at by a 7 year old.
Finally it's bedtime, we are struggling to get him to sleep in his own bed so I lay down with him and try rubbing his back and let him watch TV quietly. He can't sit still, he's hot, he's cold, he can't hear the TV, he needs his stuffed animal, he wants a different blanket, etc etc for the next hour. I finally snap, tell him I am done and get up and walk out of the room. He follows me downstairs telling me he is "bored". I tell him to get in his room and go to sleep or there will be one less gift from Santa and Hanukah Harry who is seeing exactly what he is doing, does he care? Hell no! This continues to go on for the next hour and he finally passes out on the couch. I am so wound up, pissed off and frustrated now that I can't fall asleep!.
So it's midnight, I finally go upstairs and go to bed and left him on the couch. Three am he starts again, screaming at me "You left me alone". I tell him you best get to sleep now and he does finally. I wake up this morning and he is in bed with me. OMG.
I have no space, I have no privacy, I am mentally exhausted by this child. He is mentally abusing me and all of the people that are suppose to be providing us with respite and therapy can't seem to work the hours we have allocated so as usual it's all on me and I am losing my mind.
Uggggggggggh, ok I feel better now, tired but better. I am not looking forward to the next 2 weeks. I look at it as four days each week with him home with me screaming "I'm bored" and me running him around like a freaking lunatic trying to keep him entertained. I really feel like I am too old for this, god help me.
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